Gülay is thinking about how best to sum up her dilemma.
"That's just sick." She first had sex five years ago, and it completely changed her life.
Since then, she has been deathly afraid of being branded by her family as a dishonorable girl -- or, worst yet, punished and cast out.
A Constant Tug-of-War Hardly any other issue is as fraught with prohibition and fear among Germany's Muslim immigrants as sex.
Many Muslim families adhere to moral values from a pre-modern era, and the separation of the sexes affects almost all aspects of daily life.
Young Muslim women are often forced to lead double lives in Europe.
They have sex in public restrooms and stuff mobile phones in their bras to hide their secret existences from strict families.
They are often forbidden from visiting gynecologists or receiving sex ed.In the worst cases, they undergo hymen reconstruction surgery, have late-term abortions or even commit suicide.By Güner Balci Gülay, 22, lives in Berlin's Neukölln, a district that is home to a high number of Muslim immigrants, and has little in common with the cliché of the "girl with the headscarf." She wears tight jeans, low-cut blouses and has long hair that she doesn't keep covered. Gülay plans to begin a training program to work as an airport ground hostess next year.At first glance, she comes across as a poster child for successful integration.Nevertheless, she is adamantly opposed to seeing her name in print, just as she would never meet a journalist for an interview in one of the hookah bars in her neighborhood that are so popular among Arab and Turkish immigrants.She is worried that someone could overhear her talking about her family's strict morals, and about the rigid code of honor in her social environment that prevents girls from having sex before marriage and forbids them from having boyfriends.