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Ever since, every time SATC is mentioned in his presence, he yells "It's JAZZ, Carrie! " Verdict: Three cosmos and one meandering bass riff. Then again, this is a woman who has sex with her bra on. Verdict: Two cosmos and five bottles of water, with no restroom in sight. I Almost Went Blind Armed with Macaulay Culkin hair and some kind of expensive imported Hawaiian weed, Comic Book Guy (alias Power Lad) lived with his parents in a classy, expensive apartment and had a brief summer fling with Carrie.For a season stocked primarily with Rent-a-Hunks who (literally) came and went, John Slattery's two-episode arc showed remarkable staying power. DON'T MISS: 20 Delish Ways to Get Your Tequila On A recovering alcoholic who becomes “addicted” to having sex with Carrie as a replacement for the sauce. I don't care how many hip Brooklyn bookstores carry your novel. Verdict: Two and a half cosmos and a bucket of fried chicken.

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Carrie couldn't abide by this, and it's one of the first times we're confronted with her dichotomous sexual values. After a round of Twister foreplay and some vigorous boning, he informs her that he's in therapy because he sleeps with women and then immediately loses interest/gives love a bad name, etc.Tommy and Gina may have never backed down, but Carrie does.Verdict: Two cosm OHHHH, WE'RE HALFWAY THERE, OHHHH, LIVIN' ON A PRAYER.DON'T MISS: Real Facial Treatments That Are Incredible (And Terrifying)During a visit to Los Angeles, Carrie meets and hot-tub bangs tall, puffy Frankenstein Vince Vaughn, who informs her that he's Matt Damon's agent.Notable primarily for being the first man Carrie hooks up with onscreen in season one (“ Should we have sex like men?”) as well as having straight-up shark face, Kurt’s (actor Bill Sage's) existence was fleeting.

He was there, and then he was gone, leaving only the lingering scent of Drakkar Noir and foreign venereal diseases in his wake. An affable young doofus (played by Timothy Olyphant) that Carrie rebounds with after being stood up by Mr.

Big, whose ADHD rambling ("I had this dream, I had these HUGE hands, and you were in it… DON'T MISS: The Weirdest, Most Wacked-Out Places People Have Had Sex The chiseled French architect (played by Ed Fry) who mistakes Carrie for a high-class hooker and leaves ,000 on the nightstand. Verdict: One Cosmo with a half-eaten cruller inside a beret (mostly for the line "You're too beautiful to be a writer." F*ck you, man.)Before he was Jennifer Aniston's better half, Justin Theroux appeared on Sex and The City—twice.

as this beautiful unicorn woman") and tailgating-at-a-Phish-concert-esque apartment ultimately turned her off in the awesomely-named "Valley of the Twenty-Something Guys" episode. The first time, he's a flash-in-the-pan writer who's experiencing his five seconds of fame and thinks that makes it okay to wear sunglasses inside.

Verdict: A half-drunk cosmo with little sunglasses on it.

DON'T MISS: How to Keep Your Hair Color Looking Amazeballs We discover in season two that during her dry spells, Carrie usually goes down to Pound Town with the guy from the All State Commercials/Dennis from 30 Rock/actor Dean Winters. Otherwise known as "The Episode Where Carrie Kisses Alanis Morissette" or "The Episode That Dates This Show Even More Than The Others Do," Bisexual Sean is bisexual and his friends are a seething, complicated Chutes and Ladders web of undefined sexuality.

They go on two dates and she discovers that he's incredibly boring. He also works for "an Internet company," as the Internet frequently invoked in the SATC-verse to signify Young Hipness, for which Carrie is "too old-fashioned." Verdict: Two gifs of cosmos. Without Hating Life in the Process There comes a time in every woman's life when she must decide if a porkpie hat is a dealbreaker. However, once she gets sick of Ray (Craig Bierko) "playing her" (that's fingering, right? I'm unclear) she realizes that he can't really focus on anything long enough to be serious. Also: I once lived with a male roommate who walked in while the "scatting" scene was on.

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